Seddie Junk
by PrincessRotation
Summary: <html><head></head>Okay, the title may be harsh, but basically all this is is a collection of things I never really finished, or wasn't happy enough with to publish before. I decided to just put everything out there, cause I wanted to put them to good use. ENJOY!</html>
1. Chapter 1

Hey babes! WELL BASICALLY. This is where I'm going to dump all of my unfinished, unsatisfactory seddie stories that I got bored with, or never made the cut. If you don't like anything, go ahead and skip to the next chapter, cause I warn you, I am not pleased enough with the things in here to make them into their own story. I still would like reviews because they would help me improve with my writing and would be greatly appreciated. I'm gonna rate this M. Idk why, I just don't know what's gonna go in here in the future.  
>Loves!<p>

* * *

><p>[i only keep myself this sick in the head cause i know how the words get you]<br>[the best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact is to realize two outta three ain't bad]

such a seddie song, ya get me. This is based on Fall Out Boy's amazing I'm Like A Lawyer With The Way I'm Always Trying To Get You Off (Me & You)

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><p>'Seriously, Sam, why are you so messed up? You're such a bitch.' He spat, and you duck your head and pretend like it's all okay for a few seconds, until you have the strength to reply.<br>'I am who I am, deal with it.' You spit, and he looks angry. So, so angry.  
>And then he explodes. 'You know what, Sam? I'm sick and tired of you. And I'm done. I really am. I can't put up with you anymore. I'm done with you, and I want you out of my life. You mess everything up for me. I was supposed to nail that interview, I was supposed to get my dream job, and I was supposed to have the career I've ALWAYS wanted. But you have to go and get drunk and call me halfway through it, you keep calling and calling, and you made me look bad. I had to turn my phone off, in an interview! And then when I finally get out, after they tell me not to hold my breath for that job, and i find out it's just you wanting me to pick you up. Cause you can't even be arsed to stop fucking drinking, and being a selfish bitch, to think about someone other than yourself. Why do you do it Sam? And why do you always rely on me so much? It's time you took a reality check and stopped being so...' He paused, thinking for the word.<br>'So Sam?' You ask, and your eyes are sparkling, tears threatening to spill. They won't though, cause you won't let them.  
>He looks at the floor, realising what he's said and done.<br>You say, 'I'm sorry.' And walk out.  
>Leave him to his amazing life.<br>He deserves it.

You've never felt this b r o k e n. Like you have no purpose anymore. Your life was kinda centred around him, you realize.  
>But now... You're so lost. You never realised how much of your daily routine he took up.<br>He's tried to apologize. He's called, texted, left voice mails, got Carly to try as well, but you haven't been around Carly's in a week because you might risk running into him.  
>He's even tried to find out where you live, but you swore Carly to secrecy because you can't face seeing him at the moment.<br>If he turned up, everything might come out. And you just can't let that happen.  
>Life goes on, it's just a little more complicated right now.<p>

'Sam, you need to speak to me, speak to Carly about it, yell at me, scream at me, hurt me, something! It's not like you! Normally when we fight, you call me on my crap! Look... I didn't mean what I said, you know I didn't... I was just pissed... Speak to me Sammy, I miss you so so much... Please, PLEASE, call me back, I'm not gonna rest until you do. Love ya, Sammy.' BEEEEEEEEEEEEP.  
>She sighed and snapped her phone shut.<br>A billion other voice mails waited. She didn't know whether to listen to them. She was getting upset.  
>She missed him.<br>If she did she would cave and call him.  
>And she WOULDN'T lead herself on this time.<p>

'Sammy!' He calls down the hallway.  
>CRAP. You forgot you would have to avoid him at school as well. You need to hide somewhere.<br>'Sam! Sammy, don't run away from me, please! Just speak to me!'  
>You've had enough. That's it. You twirl around, and he looks so shocked... So upset... So damn p e r f e c t.<br>CLOSE YOUR EYES.  
>Eyes squeezed shut, you push him off you as he tries to hug you. His lovely smell hits you and makes you want to cry, GOD, you're MISSED him.<br>'I... Please, Freddie, leave me alone.' You whisper. You open your eyes and he looks so hurt. Good.  
>Why do you feel so guilty?<br>'Sam, we need to talk, hear me out, PLEASE.' He says urgently, but you're already feeling bad, so you need to get away quickly.  
>'Look, Freddie... You told me you were done with me. So, you got what you wanted. Now please leave me alone.'<br>'Sam... That is the last thing I could ever want.' He whispers.  
>You snap.<br>Pulling him into the janitor's closet, where no one can hear, you start to rant.

'Then why'd you say it then, huh? Cause you were mad? You said it in the heat of the moment? Cause Freddie, I could never, NEVER tell you that I'm done with you. I never would. You can call me all the names you want, but when you say you're done with me, and you tell me I can't rely on you anymore, I'LL LISTEN TO YOU. You said you were done with me, so I'm done with you. We're DONE, so please just LEAVE ME ALONE. Okay?' You're sobbing by now, angrily choking out the words while he listens silently, and then a single tear slides down his cheek.

'Sam, I miss you. If there was any way I could go back and change what I said, then I would. I don't want you to hate me because I was being a dick head. And I'm so, so sorry. That job means nothing to me if I don't get to see you aswell. Screw it, screw everything. I just want you to be my best friend again. I said some things that weren't true, I didn't mean anything. I didn't mean to bring your drinking into it, you know you can always rely on me to help you, I was just pissed off when I said that you couldn't... You don't understand how big a part of my life you are... Sam, please, just...' He whispers.

'No, you were right about my drinking. I'm bringing you down. I'm getting in the way of your whole life. And I am all of those things you said, a selfish, impatient bitch. So you don't need me weighing you down, Benson. If it wasn't for me, you would have that dream weekend job, you wouldn't be abused both mentally and physically everyday, maybe you'd have a friend who would tell you how amazing you are every once in a while, and most of all... You'd have Carly. I just get in the way. And you've made that clear, although I already knew. So, maybe this is for the best.'

'SAM, JUST STOP IT. I don't CARE about the job, I LOVE our little arguments, they keep me fucking sane, and grounded! You're my BEST FRIEND because you're YOU, and I don't fucking WANT Carly,  
>I want YOU.' He yells, and you flinch, crying more.<br>He realises he's getting out of control, and immediatly wraps his arms around you, apologizing. You both fall to the floor.  
>'Sam, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make it any worse-'<br>You start sobbing loudly again into his chest, gripping onto his shirt like a child. 'Benson, I miss you so much.' You manage to say.  
>He kisses your head and says, 'It's okay Sammy. You don't have to miss me anymore. And I don't have to miss you. Okay?'<br>You nod into him.  
>'I love you, Sam.'<br>'I love you too.' You whisper, and take it all in so you can remember every detail.  
>-<p>

UGH SO OOC BUT BEAR WITH ME. I didn't finish it cause that's all I really wanted to write, plus all the OCC-ness was bugging me so I just left it alone.  
>Reviews? Next failure will be up soon :D<p> 


	2. WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THIS, REALLY

yo. I really need to update my other stories, like seriously. But while you wait with baited breath, here's a heaping side order of failure to tide you over.  
>love yous.<p>

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><p>He doesn't need you.<br>He doesn't want you.  
>He wants Carly, you can see it in his eyes.<br>You don't know why you always big up every little affectionate action he does towards you, as they clearly mean nothing and he wants Carly.  
>He wants Carly. You need to get that into your brain. You were 'best buds'. That's what you called yourselves, but let's face it, you were never really friends at all.<br>Because the only time you were really with him was because of Carly, without her you wouldn't even know the guy. Without her, he wouldn't even want to know you. You're just part of the package deal that you get when you fall in love with Carly.  
>You'd be stupid to think that it goes any deeper than that. You need to stop thinking about him, talking to him, seeing him. Because even though you don't want to, you do over think every little smile, every accidental touch, every laugh you have with him. And then he goes and worships at Carly's feet again and you just go home, act like nothing's wrong until you're in the safety of your own room and you can cry for a few hours, watch other peope's relationships on tv while emptying an ice cream bucket, sleep, and then wake up in the morning and pretend it's all okay.<br>But it never is, really.  
>You need to realize that he loves Carly and you're just that annoying girl that won't leave him alone. Seriously, you torment him so much you might as well just tattoo attention seeker, or desperate on your forehead.<br>Because that's what you need this to be over now. You can't take it fall into a hot, teary restless sleep, your duvet over your head, your own private world, and try not to think about tomorrow.  
>Because tomorrow, you're going to try to cut him out of you life.<p>

* * *

><p>Shoving a hair band into your curls and throwing on some of your usual clothes, you run outside and catch the bus to Ridgeway, your back pack slung over your shoulder. Your old vans squeak down the hall way, but you hold your head up high, like you're the girl who couldn't care less, and not the girl who cried for hours and ate her own body weight in ice cream last night. You hold your head up high like you mean something.<br>Even though, deep down, you know you don't.

You see him, standing at his locker, and he's talking to Carly. You convince yourself that you don't care and walk over there, and say hey to Carly. She says hey back, and Freddie nods at you, not even really looking in your direction, and you tear your eyes away from him, and give no response. He knows you saw him nod, and he just rolls his eyes.  
>'So, Sam, you coming over after school?'<br>'When don't I?' You ask, shoving your books into your locker.  
>'Freddie's coming over and we're gonna watch all of the iCarly episodes in like a kinda marathon. It was his idea, pretty sweet, huh?'<br>'Actually Carls, that sounds kinda boring. I think I'll just stay home tonight. There's probably something on TV.'  
>'What? You love watching our old episodes-'<br>'Well, I'm just not in the mood I guess.' You say, and then you give her a quick smile and dissapear without even looking at Freddie's expression. But as you walk away, you hear him comment, 'Well, it'll be even more fun with just the two of us.' In a lame way to bust-a-move. You exit the school even before first bell to go home, tears running down your face. But you don't cry all day.  
>You just... Lose all have no tears left, so you walk around in a state of numbness. And that night, you don't even get a text from Carly or 're too numb to care.<br>Right?

* * *

><p>He shows up at your door.<br>At first you think you're going crazy, or its some kind of messed up dream, but nope, he's here, in the flesh.  
>And he looks so gorgeous. You nearly smile, but then you remember, you're cutting him out of your life. You watch him through the banisters as your mom answers the door.<br>'Uh. Hi?' Your mom asks. Of course she doesn't know any of your friends, apart from Carly. In this situation however, it's quite useful.  
>'Hey, is Sam here? Could I please speak to her?' He asks politely. You roll your eyes, he's so PERFECT all of the time.<br>'Who are you?' Your mom asks.  
>'Freddie.'<br>'Wait one sec.' She hold's up a bony finger. Swirving around, she calls up the stairs to you, 'PUCKETT, GET YOUR LAZY ASS DOWN HERE. THERE'S SOME GUY CALLED FREDDIE HERE TO SEEYOU.' And then you have a flash of inspiration. Maybe you can make him feel as hurt as he makes you feel. All it takes is just one question, so you call, sounding confused, '...Freddie who?'  
>You hear him suck in the air, in a small gasp, and murmers, 'Benson,' to your mother before she can even ask.<br>'BENSON!' She make sure to wait a minute before replying, 'Uh... OH, him. What does he want?' In a disgusted tone. Your mom starts to get impatient with this little game, and so she justs sends him up, with a small warning about you, which for you, is an added bonus to this plan. It's like he's a total stranger. He shuffles up the stairs, and you manage to dart into your room before he can see you. You jump on the bed and look casual as he strides over, after shutting your bedroom door.  
>'What the hell? Freddie who? You've known me years and years Sam.'<br>'Did you come here to yell?' You ask, glaring at him.  
>'That kinda hurt my feelings!' He presists, and you roll your eyes and murmur a, 'Whatevz.'<br>'Sam, do you hate me or something?'  
>'Of course.' You say, not making eye contact, staring at the floor.<br>He snarls and says, 'Y'know, I'm only here cause Carls was worried about you. I don't know why I bother.'  
>'Neither do I.' You say without hesitation.<br>'Why are you such a bitch, Sam? What did I ever do to you?'  
>'You think I'm not this way with every annoying person? You think you just get special treatment? Like you're the only one I hate? Well guess what... You're not. So suck it up, and leave as you so clearly want to.' You snap, standing up and opening your bedroom door for him. He looks hurt for a second but soon snaps out of it.<br>'Why am I annoying?'  
>'You just are.'<br>'What's annoying you, Sam?'  
>'EVERYTHING about you.' You say, shoving him out of your room and slamming the door. He pushes his way back in and locks the door behind him.<br>'That's not an answer. Sam, we've been friends for years. Just tell me why you seem to hate me so much.'  
>'Because you're so... Full of your self. You act like you think you're God's gift, like even though Carly constantly turns you down, you're too good for any other girl, like just because you're smart you're better than everybody, when in reality you're just a STUPID nerd. And that's why I hate you.' You say in a rush, and then try to make a dash to unlock your door. He catches you by your waist and looks you in the eyes.'That's not fair.' He says softly. You could nearly cry, because he's trying to FLIRT you into saying sorry, and by God it's nearly working. But you know the routine, he'll flirt, make you feel special, you'll give in, and then he'll go straight back to Carly and you'll be pushed to the back ground again. You seriously can't take it anymore.<br>'Get out of my house. You disgust me.' You whisper, and his puppy dog face flickers into a suprised one.  
>'Sam...'<br>'JUST STOP IT!' You yell, and he looks worried as you drop onto your bum and furiously scrub away the tears falling out of your eyes.  
>'Stop what? Sam, what's going on?'<br>'You! You never give me a break! I know you don't like me, so stop flirting with me! Stop using that as a way to get what you want! It's not fair and I hate you for it! I hate you! You're such a fucking bastard!' You scream, and he stands over you in shocked silence. Seconds tick by, all that can be heard is the clock and your deep breathing as you try to stop the tears. You peek up at him, and he's gaping down at you, so you growl and get up.  
>'Please, just go. I can't... Deal with... Freddie, leave. You already made me cry, something that's pretty hard to do, so just... Just, please.'<br>'I can't go now.' He says, looking at you with a torn expression.  
>'I can take care of myself.' You whisper, glaring at him.<br>'Sam, I'm so sorry that-'  
>'That you don't like me?' You finish, looking him straight in the looks at the floor in silence.'That's okay. Just go. I'm fine.' You say in a voice that dares him to argue. He unlocks the door and walks out. You slide to the floor again with a bump and bury your head with in your hands. He comes running back in, hearing the bump. He see's you crying on the floor and rushes over to cradle you.<br>'Sam, look... I don't care what you say... I can't leave you like this-'  
>'Don't touch me!' You snap, clawing out of his hold. 'I don't want you to touch me! It's all lies! It'll just get my stupid hopes up like always and then... I can't get hurt anymore! Just let me get over you!' You kick him away, but he reaches for you and whispers, 'Sam... I like you back.'<br>'No you don't! You like Carly!' You growl, trying to push him off, to no avail.  
>'I know... I don't know what to do. I like you both, I guess...'<br>'No, you don't. You're trying to make me feel better. You're in love with Carly and I'd rather you just tell me that than lie about it.' You snap, and he goes rigid.  
>'I... I haven't said I'm in love with Carly for a very long time...' He ponders, and you stop scrambling to look up at him quizzically.<br>'What?' You ask, and he sighs.  
>'If I think about it... I don't love her... I always assumed I did but... I don't. I can't imagine going out with her now... We're so alike... I could be her brother...' He keeps thinking, and you sniff in his hold.<br>'Stop lying, Freddie. You. Love. Carly.'  
>'I don't love her!'<br>'Well fine, but you do LIKE her.' You sits in silence again, and you can tell he's really thinking things over.  
>'I... I can't believe I'm about to say this... But I think... I think I'm over her. It sounds bad but, I just thought about which would be worst, losing you or her... And I would be more upset if I lost you. And then I thought about who I would rather date... And I think I would want to date you...' He says, sounding puzzled.<br>'What?'  
>'I mean, why wouldn't I? You're crazy, funny, beautiful, smart, sexy, and we go on so many adventures...' You sit up and look him in the eyes.<br>'Freddo...'  
>'I need to think things through.' He concludes, before getting up to leave. He gives you a final hug, his arms snaking around your waist, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles on your back, and suddenly, he leans down to place a soft kiss on your cheek. You blush, and he leaves with a quiet, 'S'later.'<p>

* * *

><p>Three hours later, and your phone rings. You're sitting on the park in the dark, and you don't expect it. It makes you jump, and you don't even bother checking the caller ID. 'What is it?' You ask into the phone, hoping it's not your mom, because she'll just moan about your tone of voice.<br>'Sam.' It was Freddie.  
>'Ugh.'<br>'Look, I know you're upset with me-'  
>'I was actually hoping we could just forget everything. You know, pretend like it never happened... Go back to normal.' You murmur hurridly.<br>'Sam... I don't wanna do that. Where are you? Home?'  
>'The park.' You say gruffly, and you hear him sigh.<br>'In the dark? You could get into all sorts of trouble and-'  
>'You coming or not?' You snap, even though you know he's looking out for you. You don't even wanna know why you feel like you need to see him at the moment.<br>'Of course, I'm already half way there. Stay safe till I get there, at least.' He asks, and you nod, it's not like he can see you, but you do it anyway. Snapping your phone shut, you go and sit on the round about. You push yourself around with your feet. and feel the wind blow your curls a little. Ugh, you hate him. Why are you still here? Why did you tell him where you are? Why do you wanna see him after you told him how you felt? You're stupid, that's why.  
>He's behind you, you can hear him chuckling.<br>'Seriously, what are you laughing at, dork-'  
>He shuts you up with his lips pressing yours.<br>Hey, it's better than talking.

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><p>YO CLIFF HANGER, KINDA. Well, i couldn't find it in me to finish it, but yeah he decides he likes her, and the rest is history blah blah blah... Don't get me wrong, they're so cute together, but this story got boring fast. I'm so into writing Sam angst, I need to do something different. Freddie angst? YEYE, on it like a bonnet, in the words of the amazing Russell Brand.<br>R&R I would be so honoured my dearies.


	3. hi i'm a whole heap of CLICHE

freddie angst junk babies!

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><p>#<p>

Sam's never told you she loves you.  
>But then again, you've never told her that either.<br>You're both waiting for the other to say it, you can tell. Most days you look at her and wonder why you haven't got the back bone to tell her that's how you feel about her, because you've been dating a long while now and when ever her hand isn't in yours you tend to feel a little bit lost.  
>Then you wonder why she hasn't told you that she loves you.<br>You know she's got problems with her emotions, but you truly thought she was scared of nothing.  
>Some days, you think that maybe you both can't say it because it isn't true.<br>You hope that it is true, because thinking about life without her kinda crushes you inside a little bit.  
>Just a little.<p>

#

Her eyes flash with anger and you know what's coming. _Thwack._ Of course, you could have dodged it perfectly, but you decide to let it be because that's just the way you two work. Always have, always will. You mentally roll your eyes because you know most boys would walk away from this sort of messed up relationship, whereas this keeps you fucking sane nowadays.  
>The feel of her in any way keeps you satisfied, and that's a good thing because she hardly touches you any more, except to hit you of course.<br>She growls when you try to take her hand, because most of the time she's in a damn bad mood and you know not to push your luck.  
>You're lucky for even getting a chance with her and you know it.<p>

#

Some times, Sam can be sweet. She'll crawl onto your lap, kiss your neck softly, and call you baby.  
>You like this Sam a lot.<br>This Sam is easier to touch. She'll let you cradle, caress and kiss her, which you don't take for granted at all.  
>You know her weak spots, you know what she enjoys, makes her tick, and you use that to your advantage in the times where she wants you as much as you want her. You run your hands through her hair and rub circles in the small of her back with your thumb, enveloping yourself in Sam.<br>You know you're in love with her, you just need to tell her because you've figured it out.  
>You know why she's slipping away.<br>You know why she hardly touches you.  
>Because she thinks you don't love her, and by God, she's wrong.<br>You need to put this right.

#

'Sam, I'm in love with you.' You finally say one night, when you're cradling her while you both watch spongebob.  
>It was much easier than you thought it would be, and you relax and kiss her neck slowly, waiting for her reaction.<br>She seems to have stiffened up, in shock you guess.  
>'I love you too.' She finally gasps, and you wonder if she's just saying that because your finger tips are tracing the places she likes best and she's in the mood for you tonight.<br>'I mean it.' You mumble, and stop kissing her neck for a second to look her in the eyes. 'When I say that I love someone, I mean it Sam. I'm in love with you.'  
>She looks at you with hazy eyes, and she nods. 'I know. And I mean it too. I'm in love with you too.' She clarifies, and you smile so wide you're sure your face is going to split in half.<br>Then you both turn back to your favourite cartoon character, even though your minds and hands are anywhere else.

#

Carly made a move on you. You had dropped around to tell her about you and Sam finally admitting that you loved each other, but as soon as you mentioned her best friend's name a jealous look seemed to flash across her face.  
>You had faltered in your speech, and she took the opportunity to clasp her hands around your neck and kiss you.<br>You stood in shock, knowing you should push her away because this is so not what you want. You falter though, because your old 'dream girl' is kissing you again, and it almost feels nice like it did before. But then you remember what's happening and you push her away, running a hand through your hair.  
>Not fast enough though, because Sam was standing in the doorway, her hands in her jumper's hoodie, a look on her face that you know will be forever tattooed into your mind.<br>'Sam, I-'  
>'Forget about it.' She smiled sadly. 'We all knew you two were gonna happen in the end.'<br>Then she turned and walked out of the apartment.  
>'SAM!' you bellow, trying to follow her, but she had already gone, disappeared in the Seattle rain.<p>

#

Sam was like a missing person now.  
>She didn't answer your calls, your texts, your voice mails, your e-mails, your letters, and the door was unanswered to her house when you knocked.<br>School was out for the summer so you couldn't see her there.  
>You were fast running out of ideas and you couldn't even turn to Carly for help because she's the one who got you into this mess.<br>You're a shell of a person now, the only thought ever seemingly in your head being Sam.  
>You drive up to her house, get out of your car, walk up her path and knock on her door, expecting her to ignore it.<br>After a few minutes, you're about to turn away in defeat, when the door opens and a tired, dishevelled looking Sam stands, a confused expression crossing her delicate features. 'Yeah?' She mumbles. You realise she's not properly awake yet and push past her into her house before she comes to her senses and shoves you the hell out of her house.  
>'Baby.' You whisper.<br>She suddenly realizes what's going on, and starts crying. 'You cheated on me.'  
>'That's not how it is, she kissed me.'<br>'You didn't pull away for ages.'  
>'I know... I was just so shocked that Carly would even-'<br>'You told me you loved me, and then I walked in to see that... It confirmed all my worst nightmares.' She mumbled, and your heart breaks.  
>'I'm in deep love with you Sam. You have to believe me. I just can't... Function without you anymore. Don't you understand? I <span>need<span> you.' You don't realize you're crying until the tears are dripping off your face with furious speed. You choke on the tears in your throat and clutch your head.  
>She's silent, but tears are streaming down her face too. 'I don't know if I trust you anymore, Freddo.' She whispers sadly.<br>This isn't right.  
>This isn't Sam. Look what you've done to her!<br>'Please Sam! You have to trust me... You have to...' You grab her shoulders, pleading with her.  
>She looks into your eyes and nods. 'I believe you. I trust you.' She decides, and slips her hands around your shoulders. You sigh in relief and move your hands around your waist.<br>'I'm so sorry Sam. I know that hurt you. I never want you to be upset again. Ever.' You mumble, and she nods against your forehead.  
>'I forgive you. I guess it wasn't your fault.'<br>'I should have pulled away straight away, I was just so shocked, and confused, I...'  
>'I know. I love you.'<br>'I love you too baby.' You say and pull her into a kiss so passionate you're both left gasping.

#

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><p>So cliche, so cliche. THAT'S WHY IT'S IN THIS JUNK STORY THING. LOVE YOU GUYS. SERIOUS BARE LOVE.<p> 


	4. looky here Sam's got herself arm candy

was listening to misery and this songfic trickled out of my brain!  
>love you guys.<p>

MISERY

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><p><em>Oh yeah, Oh yeah<br>So scared of breaking it, that you won't let it bend  
>And I wrote 200 letters I will never send<br>Sometimes these cuts are so much deeper than they seem  
>You'd rather cover up, I'd rather let them be<br>So let me be, and I'll set you free, oh yeah_

* * *

><p>#<p>

Sam Puckett. The bain of Freddie's life? Oh yes. She most certainly was that.

Of course, his mother was borderline crazy, and between all the tick baths and prune pops shoved his way, she came a close second to Sam. But he could never truly hate his mother, she was after all, his one and only mommy, who he supposed, just cared for him a little too much at the end of the day. Sam often teased him about Marissa, but he never let it get to him, because he knew she was only voicing what everyone else was thinking, like she always did. Though it hurt, he couldn't help but admire her for that.

He was confused. He knew he hated the girl, so much that when she walked in the room he had to hold himself back from sighing and rolling his eyes. She never knocked, she simply entered, like she had a right to every place. She barged right in and made herself at home anywhere, be it Carly's house, or even his. Sam was annoying, and a bully. He knew that if he didn't love Carly so much when they met, he never would have stuck around. He would have hid in Marissa's embrace until he was sure it was safe.

He supposed Sam had helped him mature, in a way, though. If she had not put him though the pain she had, he never would have manned up. He had come to believe that he would never had become a man, his muscles wouldn't have existed, his voice would forever had been that high squeaky annoying sound, and he'd still be laughably short, wearing those stupid riser shoes until he was way into his forties at least. He liked to believe that Sam Puckett brought out the tough guy inside of him, dragged him into puberty, and he appreciated that.

Still, she treated him with no respect what so ever. She was horrible to him, just plain nasty. He constently feared for his safety while she was around, though he had learned to hide it now. The girl drove him crazy. That one time when he bet her she couldn't insult him for a whole week, he discovered something. He missed it. He missed the fire in her eyes and the way all of her attention was focused on him when she attacked. He missed her laugh when she knew she had triumphed. He missed Sam, because nice Sam just wasn't the Real Sam. Freddie thought that he was following in his mother's foot step's and was one step closer to the wacky shack, but he put the strange feeling down to discomfort that his daily rountine had changed, and insults weren't on the list for once, or something. He was too young to figure out what those feelings could have possibly meant then.

Then one day, not long after he had fully hit puberty, Sam was pushing him up against the Shay's fridge, demanding to know why the hell he had eaten the last ice pop. He noted how close she was, and for some reason a chill went right through his body, but... A good chill. He realized how nicely her petite body fit into his tall, now muscled frame and smiled. She hated to see him smile when she was trying to intimidate him, so she punched him in the gut. He didn't even respond, because he had finally understood his mixed feelings for her.

Oh my gosh. He was in love with Sam Puckett.

And he hated that.

He knew that if she stopped tormenting him so much, and left him alone, he never would have realized how well she suited him. How he liked her grasp around his shoulders when she was trying to push him into a wall. That he liked her smell, of strawberries and fatcakes, when she was attacking him. That when she sat on top of him in dominance, he felt those... Teenage boy feelings.

Oh God, what was he gonna do? She made him miserable. And he wanted her so bad.

#

* * *

><p><em>I am in misery<br>There ain't nobody who can comfort me, oh yeah  
>Why won't you answer me?<br>The silence is slowly killing me  
>oh yeah<br>Girl, you really got me bad, you really got me bad  
>Now, I'm gonna get you back, I'm gonna get you back, yeah<em>

* * *

><p>#<p>

She had finally given him what he wanted. She kissed him, in the courtyard, during the lock down. He was so shocked that he couldn't even respond. His head was full of her, her double fist face dancing threats. Why was she kissing him? He couldn't even bring him self to grab her waist and kiss her senseless like he had fantasized about for the past few months.

She backed away after she realized she was getting no response. Freddie mentally hit himself for being so damn stupid, because the one thing he had been waiting for, he blew his chance. She apologized, and all he could think was _seriously?_ Sam Puckett never apologized. Where was the kick in the shins for not doing what she wanted, and embarrasing her? Where was the passion in her agression?

Why was she standing there so lost?

'S'cool.' He mumbled. S'cool? _S'cool?_ You're a douche bag, he thought to himself, but he didn't make a move or say anything else. He wanted to see what she would do. He had, afterall, never seen her this vulnerable.

She saw something in the corner of his eye, and realize


	5. VENTIN' MA FEELINGS don't h8

_losing you is like living in a world with no air_

Pairing: SamxFreddie  
>Blurb: (She's all for pretending.)<p>

* * *

><p>...<p>

They're so close nowadays. She's always with him. She's always by his side (_a-t-t-a-t-c-h-e-d)_. But she hates him, she'll claim. Being the closest person in the world to him right now makes no difference, she'll say. Cause they'll always be the same. Frienimies. He hates it when he persists she hates him, but he plays along because hey, at least it's keeping her happy. So, everyday she'll wake up to a text off Freddie; 'What are we planning to do today, Princess?' Because they spend _every (single) _freaking day together, often without fail. When questioned about their fondness towards each other, their need to see each other this often... Sam will claim she hates him. (She's all for pretending.)

...

His hand may... er... _Slip_ sometimes. It may _(accidentally) _grab hers and his fingers may _(fall) _in between hers. She may _(forget she hates him and) _let him hold her hand for as long as he pleases. Which is normally a very long time. But still, when people ask why they're holding hands, they'll look down in shock and act like they hadn't realized, tearing apart from one another. But still, when everyone looks away, his hands may wander around her waist from behind and pull her closer, and she may tilt her head to rest in his neck. But that's what best friends do, right?

...

He confronts her himself one night. They're sitting in the iCarly studio, (_a l o n e_) and he blurts it out. 'Sam, what are we?'  
>She blinks and shrugs and pretends this question doesn't bug her all the time. 'Best friends.' She mutters. She doesn't ask what's up with his outburst because she understands exactly why he's asked. She just doesn't want to admit it or bring that up.<br>He's over by her side in a flash, and his fingers have needled through hers again, and his lips are on her neck, and she doesn't try to stop him. Her head his titled back, and he's softly biting her. Her eyes slowly close, and her free hand runs through his hair. He pulls away, looks into her eyes, and says 'You sure?'  
>Of course, she nods.<br>He rolls his eyes, '_Fucking hell Sam.'_ She just averts her gaze and tries to resist grabbing him and requesting him to do what he was just doing again.  
>'I think you and I both know, that we are no longer just best friends. I'm in l-'<br>She kisses him softly, to interrupt him. If he continues his sentence, everything will change. She gets up to leave. (_She hates change.)_

...

They haven't talked for two weeks now. Freddie's hurt, Sam's stubborn, and everyone else is clueless as to what's going on. All that Carly could get out of Freddie was, 'She's just _fucking pretending_' and wow, even Carly Shay know's this shit is serious.  
><em>S<em>am knows that she's not helping the situation by refusing to sort this out, but okay, maybe she's a little... Scared, for once (_terrified_).  
>She knows that if she tells Freddie how she feels, she's completely vulnerable. She can't deny liking him if he ever uses it against her, and she doesn't want her heart broken. She knows she's being stupid, but this time, this is one risk she's not willing to take.<p>

...

3am. There's a banging on Sam's door.  
>Before she can fully understand who it is, there's lips on hers, arms round her waist, hands running through her hair- <em>Freddie<em>.  
>She wants to cry in relief, and she can't help one tear escaping as she kisses back immediately, forcefully. He tears away and stands back. 'Sam, I know what your problem is... And if you don't want anything to change between us, I'll leave right now.'<br>She looks at him, and shivers. She wants to be in his arms. She wants his lips. She wants his eyes looking at her. She wants his hands caressing her. She wants him.  
>She loves him, and she'll be damned if he's leaving now.<br>'Stay.' She says, and he understands.

...

_I love you._

...

**er i don't like the ending :( need to stop rushing through my writing man**


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